Saturday, March 31, 2007

Innuendo and such

brian: now if I were preheating the oven to put my turkey in, that's a metaphor for foreplay

Friday, March 30, 2007

We're talking about his cat, normally (or abnormally) named "Fluffy Ruffles"

me and funky ruffles are getting down while we clean the house

oh she's _funky_ ruffles now, huh?

if you saw her dance, you'd know it.
(she's not so big on this hip hop though, she wants Professor Groove to start busting out some James Brown)

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

This is why I stay online all the time--for gems like this:

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 8:49

hidden javamon
I should've been born in the 40's, if that makes you feel any better. (I should be working, but reading blogs is much more worthwhile)

And why is that?

hidden javamon
well, that'd put me at the right age to have been a player in the golden age of racing in the 60's. I've spent most of the last year watching and reading about it (law be damned) and I think that's really what I should be doing. they followed the brian engineering method; i.e.: hammering on something until it works - completely inefficient. but there was just enough money to live, and you didn't have to worry about health and safety, and all in all, it was fantastic.


hidden javamon
and it prompted hemingway to say: There are only three sports; motor racing, bull fighting and mountain climbing. The rest are mere games.

oh i do enjoy a good literary reference

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I'm sensing a theme here...


Rira: anyway, i have to run to a meeting
where i hopefully will not bring up asian babies

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Das Internet ist sehr toll!

(via GoogleTalk)

Shayla: guten tag from deutschland

Rira and I are probably soulmates, bound together by our unbearable cuteness...

me: i wish i had a tasti-delite :)
Rira: i wish i had a dairy queen :)
me: oh we're like country mouse and city mouse

Maria's life is like a Dilbert cartoon

Maria: business professors are lazy fucks
that's what i have learned

Let the record show...

Rira: if brian sends you a quote about a turkey baster, it's not true

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

English professor humor is obscure in its hilarity...

In response to my email sign-off "Oh that Friday were today":

"That’s my favorite Andrew Marvell poem, right after “When Currency Last In My Trousers Rested” and “Whence Hath Gone The Wench With My Whiskey?”"-e

Sunday, March 18, 2007

I think she's implying something about me...

Rira: i just saw taming of the shrew at bam with tom and thought of you

so wise...

"I'd rather be ignorant than obvious"- dusty

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Alternate career plans are always a good thing, I'm learning...


Rira: ...and we travel well together, i think
Me:me too
We would do pretty well on the amazing race
Maria: yes!
i'm ready for a career change
lets make the reality tv circuit

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I like my friends

(Via aim)

how does it feel to be pretty and rich?
you're practically paris hilton
except actually pretty
not fake pretty

Sunday, March 11, 2007

I can't help it...

B: alright, I'm going to go put on some soothing music, well, vnv natiojn

Saturday, March 10, 2007

I like how everyone has their own special way of making you feel better.

"Fuck 'em in the ear. And, furthermore, fuck 'em in the other ear."--e

Thursday, March 08, 2007


(at Giant Eagle, in line in the express lane)

Little (maybe 6 years old) boy: (picks up the suprisingly easy-access packet of tobacco off the shelf and shows it to his father): What's this, Daddy?
Ass-hat of a father: That's good stuff.

Me: (mouth hanging open) :::no words:::

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Dirty puns are the best puns.

(This make total sense in context, referring to a picture of a girl and a boy who's holding a big heart over his bottom.)

"I've got a great big Heart On."- e

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I like having a pre-school teacher for a mom...

(in the middle of an otherwise normal phone conversation...)

"I am sitting here putting baby powder on sea horses..."- my mom

Submitted by the gracious Mr. David A. Riggs...

me: My sexy phone got destroyed. :-(

Maria: aww
what was your sexy phone?
was it the donkeys?

me: That's a good quote!

Maria: don't give it to ashley
she's evil with that blog

me: I know, I love it!

Monday, March 05, 2007

Fun with the Shayla in the 'burgh...

"How would you become a hand?"- jon

"Very fucking dude." (that's an adjective)

(after hearing about a joint named "Crazy Horse")
Me: "I love strip clubs named after famous Native Americans."
?: "Is there more than one?"
?: "Sitting Bull."
Justine: "Geronimo."

"We're going to be like Christians and ignore the physical evidence and believe in what we want to believe in."- shayla

Friday, March 02, 2007

I'm being a party pooper


brian: you're as much fun as a toad in a mud puddle