I am kept sane during the holiday season by people, like dear RJ, who help me keep everything in perspective

"Can't wait to see y'all and enjoy the spirit of the season....sans baby jesus, bien sur."

And, later:

"O I can't wait to rejoice and celebrate the season inyer collective bosoms."

I'm in danger of corrupting my parents

Dad: (Suspiciously eyeing me passing my mummy a bottle of Johnny Walker Black) You can't get your mom hooked on scotch. I can't afford it.

Rj was on a roll last night--a small sampling:

"I always took my panties off when I had tequila."

"It's like big, flat, plastic sex."

"I went through two copies of [Steel Magnolias] on VHS."

We like to read the minds of our animals

My mom, voicing the thoughts of my dog Rufus about wading through 6 inches of snow:

I mean, why do you think God my my chest lower than my man place?

(She means, apparently, to plow the snow out of the way so it doesn't hurt his dangly bits.)