Overheard by Shlee

We're probably both lucky that she had her hands in my mouth so I couldn't respond...

2008-01-08T16:08:00.000-05:00

My dental hygienist: This whole thing in Pakistan [the Bhutto murder] is such a tragedy. I rank it right up there with Rodriguez [former coach of WVU's football team].

From an AIM conversation with my mom...

2008-01-02T10:16:00.000-05:00

Me: Sorry...I got distracted

Her: it's ok, we are watching pugs at the dog park [on YouTube]
Rufus likes snow days

I am kept sane during the holiday season by people, like dear RJ, who help me keep everything in perspective

2007-12-23T14:09:00.000-05:00

"Can't wait to see y'all and enjoy the spirit of the season....sans baby jesus, bien sur."

And, later:

"O I can't wait to rejoice and celebrate the season inyer collective bosoms."

I'm in danger of corrupting my parents

2007-12-15T23:14:00.000-05:00

Dad: (Suspiciously eyeing me passing my mummy a bottle of Johnny Walker Black) You can't get your mom hooked on scotch. I can't afford it.

Rj was on a roll last night--a small sampling:

2007-12-09T14:07:00.000-05:00

"I always took my panties off when I had tequila."

"It's like big, flat, plastic sex."

"I went through two copies of [Steel Magnolias] on VHS."

We like to read the minds of our animals

2007-12-08T08:09:00.000-05:00

My mom, voicing the thoughts of my dog Rufus about wading through 6 inches of snow:

I mean, why do you think God my my chest lower than my man place?

(She means, apparently, to plow the snow out of the way so it doesn't hurt his dangly bits.)

Text message from Dusty

2007-11-29T14:27:00.001-05:00

"Hey i was eating this really juicy pickle and then i thought of you hey shree"

Rj's email salutation to me

2007-11-28T14:05:00.001-05:00

"hey eclectic barbarella:"

Rj leaves some po-try on my fridge

2007-11-23T15:42:00.000-05:00

Brian comes through a second time on Turkey Day (TM)

2007-11-22T21:15:00.000-05:00

"lol, your wit-sensing brain cells are apparently the iraqi civilians in this metaphor"

Brian's away message on Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T11:59:00.000-05:00

"lord, we are thankful that the brown people we found here didn't put up much of a fight for their land."

Reunited, oh it feels so good

2007-11-08T13:29:00.000-05:00

"I swear that I smelled it later in a dream."--Eric on the rank Thai fish sauce we used to cook

"I'm really virile."--Tommy, on his sperm count

"I'm sure giving birth sucks too."--Tommy

My sister's response to my query about whether or not she wanted to go see Rufus Wainwright in concert...

2007-11-02T16:04:00.000-04:00

"Abso-fruit-ly."

Oh, I luff her...

2007-10-16T14:17:00.001-04:00

My mama's e-mail response to my yen to make a Pittsburgh trip:

"soon,pet....soon..."

In honor of sister Kara's birthday, belated quotes from her visit a few weeks ago...

2007-10-05T18:38:00.000-04:00

K: "...this is what my nipple did."
Me: "The Kara Lawson story...next on Lifetime."

"I wouldn't do guy porn, but I would totally do a girl."-K (I think?)

"There's something wrong with my second hole."
Soon followed by: "Feel my hole."-K

"Ok, finish your beer so we can go drink more."--me

Sister Kara quotes from the Andrew Bird concert

2007-10-05T18:36:00.000-04:00

"Sometimes it pays to get screwed."

"I have whistle envy."

A new feature of the blog

2007-09-30T12:21:00.001-04:00

Magnetic poems found on my fridge, left by persons unknown (though I usually have a pretty good idea)

Anyone else want to join her?

2007-09-26T13:55:00.000-04:00

Rira: i want to join the apostrophe protection society

She does have a point...

2007-09-26T11:10:00.000-04:00

Rira: I think I need to hook up with a girl
me: are you purposefully trying to make the blog now?
miss the attention?
Rira: haha, no
we are turning 26
me: yes, we are
Rira: i'm not going to be able to do crazy things for very much longer
me: that's true
that's one of the reasons I've been considering hard drug more seriously

me: but, yes I know what you mean
although maybe we could become lesbians in old age
once we lose our sex drive and just need companionship
Rira:but if there's no sex drive, is it really lesbianism?

Long overdue (more to come soon)

2007-09-25T18:09:00.000-04:00

Submitted by Rira

David: What are we going to do?
me: elope?
David: How about we study trancendental meditation under a yogi, then merge Eastern philosophy and music with pop music and trendy haircuts.
...and elope, of course.

This delights me for so many reasons...

2007-09-12T11:52:00.000-04:00

Rira: i bonded with a lesbian yesterday about the importance of coffee

Rira deemed this blog-worthy

2007-08-31T11:15:00.000-04:00

me: i like coincidences :)

Taking myself to task, for fairness's sake

2007-08-30T14:32:00.001-04:00

Me, regarding the A/C on this hot, hot day:

"If I could stick this up my womb, I would."

Courtesy of "digitalboy"

2007-08-30T14:25:00.000-04:00

rira: i don't really feel like a movie
dijitalboy: What do u feel like
Rira: drugs
dijitalboy: What kind
Rira: coke... e was my second choice

Me and hump day don't do well when put together in a small room and forced to interact...

2007-08-30T12:49:00.000-04:00

Rira: hmm
you should start out wednesday mornings with alcohol

Why I love my mom...

2007-08-22T19:15:00.000-04:00

The first line of an instant message she sent me...

"I have conquered chicken!!!!!"

Dream-me sounds pretty crazy

2007-08-17T13:37:00.000-04:00

Rira: i had a dream about you last night, po
you had a child--a 4-year-old girl
and you dyed her hair blue

hip hop physiology

2007-08-12T21:25:00.000-04:00

"word to your femur."--e

New England is filled with passive-agressive signs

2007-08-11T15:50:00.001-04:00

Sign on an 18/19 century ship in Salem, MA's harbor, possibly called "the Friendship":

Friendship
Authorized personnel only
Vessel is alarmed

Site-specific gems

2007-08-11T15:47:00.000-04:00

Of course a place called Bunghole Liquors will lead to great and easy quotes.
(I'm serious. This is a real place in Salem, MA. Check out the website if you don't believe me: http://www.bungholeliquors.com/)

"And then on the way back we can look for Bungholes."

"You can see that Bunghole from five blocks away."

E reaches breaks new quotablitiy records (New England is inspirational is so many ways)

2007-08-11T15:41:00.001-04:00

"It makes me feel like a 19th century sea captain."

"I'm going to take my pants off. Do you think that's alright?" (said on a public Salem, MA street)

"And now he's Edward 'Die-eed.'" (talking about dear, departed Edward Said)

"With mono, it's not about the destination, it's the traveling."

"I'm afraid that after this trip I'll never be this funny again."

sing it, sister

2007-08-07T09:19:00.000-04:00

(aim)

Rira: oh, and i would just like to say
celebrity jeopardy puts me in a bad mood
the end

Rira actually submitted this herself...

2007-08-06T12:37:00.001-04:00

me: you just want to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me
David: Maria, I know that I don't have to get you drunk to take advantage of you.

It's just more fun that way.

Speaking on the supposed appearance of the West Coast gang "The Bloods" in NYC

2007-08-05T12:25:00.000-04:00

Me: "What, are they franchising now?"

Dusty: "It's a chain gang!"

Belated quotes from my visit to Shayla-town

2007-08-05T12:23:00.000-04:00

"And then you'd turn around, and there'd be a penis on your shoulder..."--keith

"I'm over the internet."--Shayla

"I just picked my nose with my toe!"--Nick (it would probably be a better quote if I didn't tell you that he's Shayla's 4 year-old nephew.)

"I gush for men who know how to use a chain saw."--Jon

From Rira, our beat reporter on the streets of NYC

2007-08-05T12:22:00.001-04:00

homeless man to me, 8:46am, on 23rd street:
"Every morning, when you wake up, know that somebody loves you. Because I do. I looove you."
now, the goal is just to get someone with teeth to say that to me

oh, and yesterday, at approximately the same spot, 2 crazy people (a crazy couple?) were walking down the street and arguing
the man said loudly, "you ABUSED me"
the woman (even louder), "i LEFT you, i did not ABUSE you"
the man, "LEAVING ME IS A FORM OF ABUSE!"

Oddly enough, I do

2007-07-27T15:59:00.001-04:00

"You know that feeling...sorta half a wet ass? Well, that's where I'm at."--e

Wouldn't that make life easier?

2007-07-22T10:47:00.000-04:00

Rira: i have watched half of season 1 of the L word this weekend
on friday i wanted to be a lesbian

Me: what's stopping you?

Rira: i watched a couple more episodes and decided it's not for me

Me: ahhh I see
Well it's good that you researched it thoroughly

Rira: yes, i only make these decisions after careful thought

I told him I was drinking the Blue Moon beer called "Honey Moon Summer Ale"

2007-07-21T19:56:00.000-04:00

"When you finish the six pack, you can say 'the honey moon is over.'" -e

I like people who are moved by literature to physical reaction

2007-07-21T17:31:00.000-04:00

And, yes, Harry Potter counts as literature in my book...

(via google)

Bomi: i was audibly shreiking and crying and laughing
i think i gripped my own arm so tight at one point that i bruised myself
go
read
now

E tries to ruin the end of the Harry Potter series for me

2007-07-21T00:39:00.000-04:00

"i tell you, i couldn't believe harry potter turned out to be a girl."

She's got a point...the suffering of others does have a certain entertainment value

2007-07-20T11:06:00.000-04:00

Rira: but since it's not _my_ stalker, it's kind of fun

This is actually _not_ the part of the conversation that she asked me not to post

2007-07-20T09:52:00.000-04:00

Rira: but i got drunk on wine and missed naked yoga

Weddings (and open bars) also make for excellent quotage

2007-07-15T19:43:00.000-04:00

"I started a conga line. It was quality."--Amy C.

"The dress is adhesive? The breasts are adhesive."--me

"Are you wearing underpants?"--me, to Rira

"I haven't talked to her in a year. I feel kinda bad ruining her wedding."--Amy L.

"Just so you know, I'm not putting out now." (Who said this? I can't remember....not a good sign)

"If it helps out your blog, I do know that Maria likes to be the big spoon."--Amy C.

"Once again, we could be circus people."--Amy L.

"Well, he's not married, so he's fair game."--Rira (about the engaged Irishman)

(and later...)

"This is really sad, cuz all the people I drunk dial are in this house."--Brian (holding his phone, preparing to drunk dial)

"In the name of the father, the son, and Ashley Lawson..."--Brian

"I wish I could make you bleed."--me (to Brian?)

Quotes from my mom, upon spending an evening not getting to see the Harry Potter movie, so getting drunk instead

2007-07-13T22:10:00.000-04:00

"Sweet!" (When we got our movie tickets, ordered ahead of time online, at the kiosk instead of having to wait in the long, long line)

Me: (talking about how I've got some bitch woman pegged.) "I've got her number."
Mama: "And it's not in your 'five.'"
(I'm so proud of her quick wit...probably one of the all time great Jenny moments.)

"Is it time for another Gim-butt?"--my mama (she means "gimlet," but she's already under the influence of one)

"Hell yeah!"--after my asking her if she thinks I could/should live in Prague next summer

Daddums schools his daughter on rock and roll

2007-07-13T13:32:00.000-04:00

Me: I'm getting some pretty hardcore calluses from playing mandolin.
Dad: :::scoff:::
Me: I am! I know eight chords now.
Dad: Yeah...pretty soon you'll be Bob Dylan.
Me: But Bob Dylan doesn't play mandolin.
Dad:...but he's hardcore.

Talking about our drinking-white-zin-from-a-box-cause-it-was-free days...

2007-07-12T21:18:00.000-04:00

Me: from a box!
Rira: yeah
i remember that
we didn't care so much back then
Me: nope
I think, if push came to drunk, we wouldn't care that much now either
Rira:
yeah
now my first 2 drinks just need to be decent
after that, i'll drink anything
Me: we're classy

This one's for you, Nima

2007-07-12T21:10:00.000-04:00

Rira: so nima went with me for a pedicure after work
i think i might have turned him gay

I think that last line would make for a autobiography title

2007-07-12T10:11:00.000-04:00

Bomi: argh i asked my coworker to bring me a black coffee
and he went and got me a mocha
i know i should just appreciate him bringing me something
but i wanted REAL coffee!!!!!

Me: Exactly! That frou-frou coffee isn't real coffee

Bomi: so here i am disgustedly sipping frou frou

My first message from Rira this morning...

2007-07-11T09:24:00.000-04:00

Rira: could you please send me a daily reminder that it sucks to be hungover at work?
thank you

And by "offer them a mango," he means...

2007-07-10T11:14:00.000-04:00

E: now do you think i should buy some shoes with a cuban heel?
Me: hmmmm...
Any plans to become a pimp?
E: no... but maybe a guy who stands around the fruit carts in little cuba going "cch-ey, preedy lady! ju so fine, mang!"
then i'll offer them a mango.

Daddums suddenly takes an interest in all things domestic

2007-07-10T10:55:00.000-04:00

So, here's the set up--I'm trying on a vintage dress for my mom that we're going to try to alter. My dad sits and watches for a moment, then starts a running commmentary. A sampling of his comments:

"That looks nice!" (Despite the fact that it's obviously too small.)
"Well, I think it looks nice!" (Upon me pointing out the fact that it's obviously too small.)

"Isn't that where it's supposed to be?" (meaning the hem at the waist)
"Isn't that fabric hard to sew?" (No, Dad, it's cotton.)

"What exactly is a vintage store?"

"So it's not made in China!" (His response to our realization that the dress is actually handmade.)

True 'dat

2007-07-10T10:30:00.000-04:00

(From Rira)
Tom: like the world needs another dense straight boy
they start unnecessary wars and forget their mothers B-days

Belgian beer bar fun

2007-07-08T14:31:00.000-04:00

"That's a happy face." (me)
"That's the face of a man who knows what he's going to drink for the next 10 ounces."-Luiz

"Are you ready to storm the Kasteel?"- Dusty (Kasteel is a type of Belgian beer, of course...)

Such a good friend, he is

2007-07-06T15:53:00.000-04:00

"No no, you can horn all you want."--Brian

This is a much better quote out of context

2007-07-05T15:17:00.000-04:00

(via Aim)

Me: Will there be nipples?
Rira: oh yes

Because no human should have to fetch his or her own coffee

2007-07-04T16:17:00.000-04:00

Dave: I should have hired a primate - cats can't fetch coffee without thumbs.
Me: You know, I've actually had this exact discussion before!

Oh, patriotism

2007-07-04T16:14:00.000-04:00

"Have an absolutely star-spangled day!"--e

(Via E)-
"Independence, man."--Chip (on what he's "into")

NYC trips always provides a wealth of classic quotage...

2007-07-03T15:56:00.002-04:00

"Who needs friends when you've got something hanging off your boob?"--Tina, old friend and new mommy

Not the only way she and the Holy One are similar...

2007-07-03T15:56:00.001-04:00

(To Maria, who couldn't get drunk)
Tom: "Water and wine are the same for you."
Me: "Yeah, you're like Jesus."

I'll buy a drink for the person who comes up with the best answer to this important existential question.

2007-07-03T15:55:00.001-04:00

"Hey guys! What's a penis?"--Crazy man wearing a dirty Sars mask, near Union Square, to no one in particular

Her confusion is understandable...

2007-07-03T15:54:00.002-04:00

"So, is this art or pornography?"--Teenaged girl at the Strand, to a young boy who was looking at an art book with her

Only one of the reasons why I love her...

2007-07-03T15:54:00.001-04:00

"Let's go. Let's go drink beer."--Rira

Certain things are very important to us...

2007-07-03T15:52:00.000-04:00

Rira: "Do you realize that we just talked about chocolate chip cookies for an entire block?"
Me: "I'm going to put that on the blog, but I'm going to amend it to make note that it was an Upper West Side east to west block. The people in the know will get it."

I wonder to what he was referring...

2007-07-03T15:48:00.001-04:00

(This one's for E)

"Them shit's delicious!"--gangsta guy, in Starbucks on the Upper West Side, to his friends

Blame rira

2007-06-29T01:38:00.000-04:00

bri: lol. you know me. boobs, the internet, and cake.

The aforementioned sexy Dave

2007-06-28T16:28:00.001-04:00

Dave: It's time....
(time to get FUNKY.)
Just thought that I'd let you know - that's what friends are for.

Relating to the post below about Dave's audioblog appearance

2007-06-28T10:36:00.000-04:00

Rira: um, dave has a sexy podcast voice
i told him i wanted him to read erotic short stories to me

me: oh my god--PLEASE let me put that on the blog
(and, yes, I agree)

Europe mega-post!

2007-06-28T10:11:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately, as you know, the rest of the world has not yet decided to adopt English as their official language, hence a lot of the overhearing I did on my trip sounded like giberish to me, but I did what I could.

Before I even left

2007-06-28T10:09:00.000-04:00

"Well, it _is_ your lucky day."--desk attendant in the First Class lounge, after I'd been bumped from economy to first class for my trans-atlantic flight

"I'm getting a memory like a sieve, I am."--British flight attendant

London-They speak English here

2007-06-28T10:03:00.000-04:00

"People from the West like the sun, right?--my dunderheaded Thai roommate

"There was a dark [she means Black] person making sushi, and I thought: that's not sushi!"--same vapid Thai girl

"Well, this is another museum. And another boring woman is going to talk to you the whole time, I'm afraid."--schoolteacher , to her students (about sixth grade?) outside the British Museum

"I'll bet you breakfast that this is not Johnny Cash."--American guy to British guy (both mildly asshat-ish), sitting at separate tables, during breakfast at the Troubadour (The American guy was right...it wasn't.)

Paris-City of odd men making forward advances

2007-06-28T09:57:00.000-04:00

"I am crazy to dance!"--odd French man trying to hit on my outside the Notre Dame

"Oh la la."--little French girl in the Picasso museum (I kid you not!)

"You must be a bit of a nerd then, aren't you?"--Bhupindar, about my being so young and a professor

Two terribly racist jokes told me to me (completely unsolicited) during a drunken night in our hostel by an Indian-Canadian man:

"Did you know that the German people recently invented a car that can seat 100 people? One in the front, one in the back, and 98 in the ashtray."

"What's the difference between pizza and a black man? Pizza can feed 4 people."
And the, to placate the room full of us, who were horrified and groaning, he said, "That's not because they don't _want_ to but because they're lazy."

"That's not rice."--Bhupindar (the Indian-Canadian) to Sean, an American, who was trying to make himself a rice-based dinner

Amsterdam-During the "high times," I honestly thought I could understand Dutch and tried to join in on a few conversations. No quotes, though.

2007-06-28T09:55:00.001-04:00

"Merci, madam."-little French schoolchild, to me, when I held a door open for him in the hostel (Maria--does this count as my quote in a foreign language?)

"Now we can say we got stoned with a professor!"-the two sweet, though slightly dull-eyed California girls with whom I spent time in Amsterdam

Berlin-I hoped to get a quote in German, but it didn't so much happen.

2007-06-28T09:53:00.000-04:00

"You look like a general making plans of attack."--Muli, eyeing my notebook where I kept all my travel info

Prague- Czech is a queer language.

2007-06-28T09:52:00.000-04:00

"Before I left, my mom told me, 'Don't forget that lost is the new found!'"- Tessa

Strasbourg-Drunk fun with LPC

2007-06-28T09:50:00.000-04:00

"Mmmm...hold my weave."--Tommy (I should have writtten down more of what he said...so many potential classics.)

Dublin: the land of Guinness and whiskey=good quotes

2007-06-28T09:47:00.000-04:00

"Oh, fuck me. It's like their brains fell out their arses."--my cabdriver, speaking about the drunk assholes who were leaving the pubs at closing time (4am) and stumbling into our car (Note: I was not one of the drunk assholes...it's a long story.)

"Oh, I took a picture of really black shit as well." -Dublin man, to friends, on what he'd done the night before

"Stick it in your bullocks."--same man, a few minutes later

I'm so proud! (And I get to go caving with a superstar next week!)

2007-06-26T21:42:00.000-04:00

Dave: I'm famous! http://wvcaveman.blogspot.com/2007/06/podcaver-4-windy-slope-cave-by-dave.html
I know what you're thinking...
Yes, you may have my autograph.

Yes, he's addressing me

2007-06-26T13:49:00.001-04:00

E: You old Southern fag, you.

Oh Morgantown, purveyor of bitter ironies!

2007-06-25T10:15:00.000-04:00

Rira (on hearing about the attempted break-in made on my Morgantown apartment last night, and referencing my upcoming trip to visit her in NYC): anyway, it will be good for you go get away from dangerous motown for a few days
me: Indeed!
Take sanctuary from the mean streets of Morgantown in NYC
Rira: yes
think of it as a nature retreat of sorts

It's good to be back

2007-06-24T10:21:00.000-04:00

Me (talking to Sister):
It's just showing at 10

what time do you get down?
done
though I would also appreciate knowing your etgd time (that's "estimated get down time"), so I could join you

And we're back!

2007-06-23T22:38:00.000-04:00

Dave: Bats are like little furry, upsidedown, mammalian penguins.
Except they live in caves instead of icebergs.
Oh, and they have the rabies.

Bon voyage!

2007-05-22T09:55:00.001-04:00

While I'm jaunting around Europe for the following month, I've given Maria permission to post quotage in my stead. She lives in NYC, so I have a feeling she shouldn't want for remarkable things to bring to your attention.

Check the "comments" link after this entry.

I'll be back in four weeks, and I hope to have quite the Euromegapost when I return. I may even have quotes in other languages! (A girl can dream...)

My sister makes funnies.

2007-05-20T12:39:00.000-04:00

"There's left, and then there's left left."

"Does Bolivia worship the strawberry?"

A running commentary of the Strawberry Festival parade

2007-05-20T12:36:00.000-04:00

"He looks like he knows how to blow." --J Saunders

"Some people choose abstinence, others have it chosen for them"--E and Rj (what a tag team)

"It's more like 'The Concerned Ursines.' They're an off-brand."--Rj, talking about a float with giant papier-mache bears that were supposed to look like the Care Bears

"Let he who is without chlamydia cast the first stone."--E

Hungover cleverness

2007-05-20T12:35:00.000-04:00

Me: You're smart.
E: I know my bladders.

Me: (talking about Mimosas) ...and they provide us with vitamin C!
E: And vitamin drunk.

Drunk poker playing and a large amount of snark inspire great quotage.

2007-05-20T12:31:00.000-04:00

Someone: Are you guys ready?
Rj:Did some fat girl from Pocahontas County in sequins cry tonight?

"Fun is not fun. Winning is fun."--Brian

"I think I'm too drunk to learn"--me, sadly

""Minutiae really matter when you're stoned in a way that doesn't when you're drunk."--Brian?

Brian: Fuck him up his ass!
Me: I'll leave that to you later.
Rj: Oh, he's a bottom.

E:...and fireworks!
Rj: I thought that was just fat people falling.

She recently got her first sunburn ever!

2007-05-20T09:40:00.000-04:00

Rira: i think nyc is doing bad things for my melanin

I love my girl

2007-05-17T09:30:00.000-04:00

Rira: yes, we don't wasted any time
waste not wasted
that must have been a freudian slip

(aim)

Oh, how I do love me some Dave time (combined with drinking, it's a winning pair!)

2007-05-17T08:42:00.000-04:00

"You just missed a very insightful conversation about what makes a hootenanny a hoedown."-dave

(Paraphrasing) "My cat is very beautiful. She's a cat butt model."-dave, of course

"We do take requests, but we ask that you write them down on a twenty dollar bill and have the drunkest member of your party bring it forward."--funny/creepy guy leading the bluegrass jam

(All at the Brewpub)

When some weird guy approaches your table, do NOT make eye contact.

2007-05-17T08:38:00.000-04:00

Weird guy: "I have a joke for you...I wrote it down so I wouldn't forget. 'How many perverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'"

:::I physically cringe in preparation for what I know will be a painful and tasteless punchline.:::

Weird guy (con.): "One. But it takes a whole emergency room of people to get it out."

:::me: shudder:::

It's not porn; it's art!

2007-05-17T08:27:00.001-04:00

Rira: haha
that's what you get for posting porn

Rj's been keeping me in Falwell-bashing porn (of sorts)

2007-05-17T00:21:00.000-04:00

Seriously, someone needed to say this. And, seriously, you need to watch this:

Rj: "Hitchens is drunk and pisses all over falwell. Pity he's only reasonable when it comes to religion."

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2007/05/christopher-hitchens-anderson-cooper-jerry-falwell.php

RIP (?) Jerry Fallwell

2007-05-15T18:47:00.000-04:00

Brian: oh btw
FALWELL IS DEAD
praise jesus

Rj: I'm equally sorry that he didn't linger and suffer....sort of how I feel about Raygun.

From Rj's blog: "The fact that such a hateful man (he did, after all, make Larry Flynt look sympathetic) could wrap himself in "god" and attain national prominence and influence is a surer sign of moral paucity and societal backsliding than a couple of leather bears kissing while a flotilla of drag queens toss rubbers from sparkly floats. The sad truth is his passing means nothing. His death, like the death of single termite, merely creates space for another just like him to take his place."
(http://rjgibson.blogspot.com/)

"How I hope St. Peter, Jesus, and Screamin’ Jay Hawkins personally threw him off the narthex cloud into Perdition."--e

"i kept hitting the refresh button until the 'hospitalized' turned to 'dead at 73'."--Rj's friend Montgomery
(http://montgomerymaxton.blogspot.com/2007/05/how-to-say-this-best.html)

What a productive dinner...all that learning and sharing

2007-05-12T22:59:00.000-04:00

"It's not a disease, it's a virus."--Nima defending a certain friend (cough) who accidently contracted a disease/virus while traveling in Europe

"I've really explored myself tonight."--Rira

"Oh, anyways...it _is_ humid in Texas."--Nima, trying to get the conversation back on track

Sometimes the NYC crazies try to get you involved

2007-05-12T22:57:00.000-04:00

"You look like a cool guy...You look like a 17th century poet."--Clerk at Puerto Rico Coffee to E

"He's 65 years old, and if he doesn't get shish kabob, he'll kill me. And he's from Detroit."--Iranian man who engaged us on the street for probably a full five minutes

It's the "Shlee and E Hour," kids! Fasten your seatbelts, and watch the quotage fly!

2007-05-12T22:21:00.000-04:00

"Transvestites are the new cyborgs."--E

"I feel billowy."--E again

"Don't worry. I've got your asshole covered."--Me, to E

"You have any cherry bombs or waterhoses?"--E

"I know I've said this before, but if I get Hep C, you're responsible."--E, to me (Taking note of this and the previous quote, I have to wonder who exactly does he think I am??)

Me: "You know what's weird about New York now? Before, when you saw someone walking down the street talking to themself, you just assumed, 'OK, they're some crazy homeless person.' But now most of the time they're just talking on one of those stupid cell phone earpieces."
E: "That's why we started the program 'Fake Bluetooth for the Homeless.'"

"I bet this one's called 'Burlap Vagina.'"--E guessing the name of Lucio Fontatana's "Spatial Concept: Expectations" at MoMA [http://www.moma.org/collection/browse_results.php?criteria=O%3AAD%3AE%3A1930&page_number=4&template_id=1&sort_order=1
](I think his idea is much better)

Drunk, annoying people generally provide the best quotes

2007-05-12T22:18:00.000-04:00

"And I was like 'vroom, vroom,' and it was like whatever."
"I don't have a very girly voice. You can make it manly."--Stupid drunk girl outside of the O.Henry pub who scared Otis, the dog

It's impossible to walk through Union Square and not come up with many good "hit and run" quotes from passerbys

2007-05-12T22:14:00.000-04:00

"Let's go to Whole Foods and pick up girls."--Young gothpunk to his friend

"I've got a date with a fucking blunt."--Yet another young punk

"I like water in theory."--girl walking under umbrella

"This is a big park. If you go where you please, you'll end up in...Jersey."--Teacher to a student (This one was in Central Park, but it's similar enough)

My mom uses me for my access to raw fish

2007-05-07T17:10:00.000-04:00

"I think I'm starting to associate you with sushi. One of these days I'm going to look at you and see a giant California roll."--my Mom