We're probably both lucky that she had her hands in my mouth so I couldn't respond...

My dental hygienist: This whole thing in Pakistan [the Bhutto murder] is such a tragedy. I rank it right up there with Rodriguez [former coach of WVU's football team].

From an AIM conversation with my mom...

Me: Sorry...I got distracted

Her: it's ok, we are watching pugs at the dog park [on YouTube]
Rufus likes snow days

I am kept sane during the holiday season by people, like dear RJ, who help me keep everything in perspective

"Can't wait to see y'all and enjoy the spirit of the season....sans baby jesus, bien sur."

And, later:

"O I can't wait to rejoice and celebrate the season inyer collective bosoms."

I'm in danger of corrupting my parents

Dad: (Suspiciously eyeing me passing my mummy a bottle of Johnny Walker Black) You can't get your mom hooked on scotch. I can't afford it.

Rj was on a roll last night--a small sampling:

"I always took my panties off when I had tequila."

"It's like big, flat, plastic sex."

"I went through two copies of [Steel Magnolias] on VHS."

We like to read the minds of our animals

My mom, voicing the thoughts of my dog Rufus about wading through 6 inches of snow:

I mean, why do you think God my my chest lower than my man place?

(She means, apparently, to plow the snow out of the way so it doesn't hurt his dangly bits.)

Text message from Dusty

"Hey i was eating this really juicy pickle and then i thought of you hey shree"

Rj's email salutation to me

"hey eclectic barbarella:"

Rj leaves some po-try on my fridge

Brian comes through a second time on Turkey Day (TM)

"lol, your wit-sensing brain cells are apparently the iraqi civilians in this metaphor"

Brian's away message on Thanksgiving

"lord, we are thankful that the brown people we found here didn't put up much of a fight for their land."

Reunited, oh it feels so good

"I swear that I smelled it later in a dream."--Eric on the rank Thai fish sauce we used to cook

"I'm really virile."--Tommy, on his sperm count

"I'm sure giving birth sucks too."--Tommy

My sister's response to my query about whether or not she wanted to go see Rufus Wainwright in concert...

"Abso-fruit-ly."

Oh, I luff her...

My mama's e-mail response to my yen to make a Pittsburgh trip:

"soon,pet....soon..."

In honor of sister Kara's birthday, belated quotes from her visit a few weeks ago...

K: "...this is what my nipple did."
Me: "The Kara Lawson story...next on Lifetime."

"I wouldn't do guy porn, but I would totally do a girl."-K (I think?)

"There's something wrong with my second hole."
Soon followed by: "Feel my hole."-K

"Ok, finish your beer so we can go drink more."--me

Sister Kara quotes from the Andrew Bird concert

"Sometimes it pays to get screwed."

"I have whistle envy."

A new feature of the blog

Magnetic poems found on my fridge, left by persons unknown (though I usually have a pretty good idea)

Anyone else want to join her?

Rira: i want to join the apostrophe protection society

She does have a point...

Rira: I think I need to hook up with a girl
me: are you purposefully trying to make the blog now?
miss the attention?
Rira: haha, no
we are turning 26
me: yes, we are
Rira: i'm not going to be able to do crazy things for very much longer
me: that's true
that's one of the reasons I've been considering hard drug more seriously


me: but, yes I know what you mean
although maybe we could become lesbians in old age
once we lose our sex drive and just need companionship
Rira:but if there's no sex drive, is it really lesbianism?

Long overdue (more to come soon)

Submitted by Rira


David: What are we going to do?
me: elope?
David: How about we study trancendental meditation under a yogi, then merge Eastern philosophy and music with pop music and trendy haircuts.
...and elope, of course.