Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Taking myself to task, for fairness's sake
Me, regarding the A/C on this hot, hot day:
"If I could stick this up my womb, I would."
"If I could stick this up my womb, I would."
Courtesy of "digitalboy"
rira: i don't really feel like a movie
dijitalboy: What do u feel like
Rira: drugs
dijitalboy: What kind
Rira: coke... e was my second choice
dijitalboy: What do u feel like
Rira: drugs
dijitalboy: What kind
Rira: coke... e was my second choice
Me and hump day don't do well when put together in a small room and forced to interact...
Rira: hmm
you should start out wednesday mornings with alcohol
you should start out wednesday mornings with alcohol
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Why I love my mom...
The first line of an instant message she sent me...
"I have conquered chicken!!!!!"
"I have conquered chicken!!!!!"
Friday, August 17, 2007
Dream-me sounds pretty crazy
Rira: i had a dream about you last night, po
you had a child--a 4-year-old girl
and you dyed her hair blue
you had a child--a 4-year-old girl
and you dyed her hair blue
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
New England is filled with passive-agressive signs
Sign on an 18/19 century ship in Salem, MA's harbor, possibly called "the Friendship":
Friendship
Authorized personnel only
Vessel is alarmed
Friendship
Authorized personnel only
Vessel is alarmed
Site-specific gems
Of course a place called Bunghole Liquors will lead to great and easy quotes.
(I'm serious. This is a real place in Salem, MA. Check out the website if you don't believe me: http://www.bungholeliquors.com/)
"And then on the way back we can look for Bungholes."
"You can see that Bunghole from five blocks away."
(I'm serious. This is a real place in Salem, MA. Check out the website if you don't believe me: http://www.bungholeliquors.com/)
"And then on the way back we can look for Bungholes."
"You can see that Bunghole from five blocks away."
E reaches breaks new quotablitiy records (New England is inspirational is so many ways)
"It makes me feel like a 19th century sea captain."
"I'm going to take my pants off. Do you think that's alright?" (said on a public Salem, MA street)
"And now he's Edward 'Die-eed.'" (talking about dear, departed Edward Said)
"With mono, it's not about the destination, it's the traveling."
"I'm afraid that after this trip I'll never be this funny again."
"I'm going to take my pants off. Do you think that's alright?" (said on a public Salem, MA street)
"And now he's Edward 'Die-eed.'" (talking about dear, departed Edward Said)
"With mono, it's not about the destination, it's the traveling."
"I'm afraid that after this trip I'll never be this funny again."
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
sing it, sister
(aim)
Rira: oh, and i would just like to say
celebrity jeopardy puts me in a bad mood
the end
Rira: oh, and i would just like to say
celebrity jeopardy puts me in a bad mood
the end
Monday, August 06, 2007
Rira actually submitted this herself...
me: you just want to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me
David: Maria, I know that I don't have to get you drunk to take advantage of you.
It's just more fun that way.
David: Maria, I know that I don't have to get you drunk to take advantage of you.
It's just more fun that way.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Speaking on the supposed appearance of the West Coast gang "The Bloods" in NYC
Me: "What, are they franchising now?"
Dusty: "It's a chain gang!"
Dusty: "It's a chain gang!"
Belated quotes from my visit to Shayla-town
"And then you'd turn around, and there'd be a penis on your shoulder..."--keith
"I'm over the internet."--Shayla
"I just picked my nose with my toe!"--Nick (it would probably be a better quote if I didn't tell you that he's Shayla's 4 year-old nephew.)
"I gush for men who know how to use a chain saw."--Jon
"I'm over the internet."--Shayla
"I just picked my nose with my toe!"--Nick (it would probably be a better quote if I didn't tell you that he's Shayla's 4 year-old nephew.)
"I gush for men who know how to use a chain saw."--Jon
From Rira, our beat reporter on the streets of NYC
homeless man to me, 8:46am, on 23rd street:
"Every morning, when you wake up, know that somebody loves you. Because I do. I looove you."
now, the goal is just to get someone with teeth to say that to me
oh, and yesterday, at approximately the same spot, 2 crazy people (a crazy couple?) were walking down the street and arguing
the man said loudly, "you ABUSED me"
the woman (even louder), "i LEFT you, i did not ABUSE you"
the man, "LEAVING ME IS A FORM OF ABUSE!"
"Every morning, when you wake up, know that somebody loves you. Because I do. I looove you."
now, the goal is just to get someone with teeth to say that to me
oh, and yesterday, at approximately the same spot, 2 crazy people (a crazy couple?) were walking down the street and arguing
the man said loudly, "you ABUSED me"
the woman (even louder), "i LEFT you, i did not ABUSE you"
the man, "LEAVING ME IS A FORM OF ABUSE!"
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