Friday, June 29, 2007

Blame rira

bri: lol. you know me. boobs, the internet, and cake.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

The aforementioned sexy Dave

Dave: It's time....
(time to get FUNKY.)
Just thought that I'd let you know - that's what friends are for.

Relating to the post below about Dave's audioblog appearance

Rira: um, dave has a sexy podcast voice
i told him i wanted him to read erotic short stories to me

me: oh my god--PLEASE let me put that on the blog
(and, yes, I agree)

Europe mega-post!

Unfortunately, as you know, the rest of the world has not yet decided to adopt English as their official language, hence a lot of the overhearing I did on my trip sounded like giberish to me, but I did what I could.

Before I even left

"Well, it _is_ your lucky day."--desk attendant in the First Class lounge, after I'd been bumped from economy to first class for my trans-atlantic flight

"I'm getting a memory like a sieve, I am."--British flight attendant

London-They speak English here

"People from the West like the sun, right?--my dunderheaded Thai roommate

"There was a dark [she means Black] person making sushi, and I thought: that's not sushi!"--same vapid Thai girl

"Well, this is another museum. And another boring woman is going to talk to you the whole time, I'm afraid."--schoolteacher , to her students (about sixth grade?) outside the British Museum

"I'll bet you breakfast that this is not Johnny Cash."--American guy to British guy (both mildly asshat-ish), sitting at separate tables, during breakfast at the Troubadour (The American guy was wasn't.)

Paris-City of odd men making forward advances

"I am crazy to dance!"--odd French man trying to hit on my outside the Notre Dame

"Oh la la."--little French girl in the Picasso museum (I kid you not!)

"You must be a bit of a nerd then, aren't you?"--Bhupindar, about my being so young and a professor

Two terribly racist jokes told me to me (completely unsolicited) during a drunken night in our hostel by an Indian-Canadian man:

"Did you know that the German people recently invented a car that can seat 100 people? One in the front, one in the back, and 98 in the ashtray."

"What's the difference between pizza and a black man? Pizza can feed 4 people."
And the, to placate the room full of us, who were horrified and groaning, he said, "That's not because they don't _want_ to but because they're lazy."

"That's not rice."--Bhupindar (the Indian-Canadian) to Sean, an American, who was trying to make himself a rice-based dinner

Amsterdam-During the "high times," I honestly thought I could understand Dutch and tried to join in on a few conversations. No quotes, though.

"Merci, madam."-little French schoolchild, to me, when I held a door open for him in the hostel (Maria--does this count as my quote in a foreign language?)

"Now we can say we got stoned with a professor!"-the two sweet, though slightly dull-eyed California girls with whom I spent time in Amsterdam

Berlin-I hoped to get a quote in German, but it didn't so much happen.

"You look like a general making plans of attack."--Muli, eyeing my notebook where I kept all my travel info

Prague- Czech is a queer language.

"Before I left, my mom told me, 'Don't forget that lost is the new found!'"- Tessa

Strasbourg-Drunk fun with LPC

"Mmmm...hold my weave."--Tommy (I should have writtten down more of what he many potential classics.)

Dublin: the land of Guinness and whiskey=good quotes

"Oh, fuck me. It's like their brains fell out their arses."--my cabdriver, speaking about the drunk assholes who were leaving the pubs at closing time (4am) and stumbling into our car (Note: I was not one of the drunk's a long story.)

"Oh, I took a picture of really black shit as well." -Dublin man, to friends, on what he'd done the night before

"Stick it in your bullocks."--same man, a few minutes later

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

I'm so proud! (And I get to go caving with a superstar next week!)

Dave: I'm famous!
I know what you're thinking...
Yes, you may have my autograph.

Yes, he's addressing me

E: You old Southern fag, you.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Oh Morgantown, purveyor of bitter ironies!

Rira (on hearing about the attempted break-in made on my Morgantown apartment last night, and referencing my upcoming trip to visit her in NYC): anyway, it will be good for you go get away from dangerous motown for a few days
me: Indeed!
Take sanctuary from the mean streets of Morgantown in NYC
Rira: yes
think of it as a nature retreat of sorts

Sunday, June 24, 2007

It's good to be back

Me (talking to Sister):
It's just showing at 10

what time do you get down?
though I would also appreciate knowing your etgd time (that's "estimated get down time"), so I could join you

Saturday, June 23, 2007

And we're back!

Dave: Bats are like little furry, upsidedown, mammalian penguins.
Except they live in caves instead of icebergs.
Oh, and they have the rabies.