Oddly enough, I do

"You know that feeling...sorta half a wet ass? Well, that's where I'm at."--e

Wouldn't that make life easier?

Rira: i have watched half of season 1 of the L word this weekend
on friday i wanted to be a lesbian

Me: what's stopping you?

Rira: i watched a couple more episodes and decided it's not for me

Me: ahhh I see
Well it's good that you researched it thoroughly

Rira: yes, i only make these decisions after careful thought

I told him I was drinking the Blue Moon beer called "Honey Moon Summer Ale"

"When you finish the six pack, you can say 'the honey moon is over.'" -e

I like people who are moved by literature to physical reaction

And, yes, Harry Potter counts as literature in my book...

(via google)

Bomi: i was audibly shreiking and crying and laughing
i think i gripped my own arm so tight at one point that i bruised myself
go
read
now

E tries to ruin the end of the Harry Potter series for me

"i tell you, i couldn't believe harry potter turned out to be a girl."

She's got a point...the suffering of others does have a certain entertainment value

Rira: but since it's not _my_ stalker, it's kind of fun

This is actually _not_ the part of the conversation that she asked me not to post

Rira: but i got drunk on wine and missed naked yoga

Weddings (and open bars) also make for excellent quotage

"I started a conga line. It was quality."--Amy C.

"The dress is adhesive? The breasts are adhesive."--me

"Are you wearing underpants?"--me, to Rira

"I haven't talked to her in a year. I feel kinda bad ruining her wedding."--Amy L.

"Just so you know, I'm not putting out now." (Who said this? I can't remember....not a good sign)

"If it helps out your blog, I do know that Maria likes to be the big spoon."--Amy C.

"Once again, we could be circus people."--Amy L.

"Well, he's not married, so he's fair game."--Rira (about the engaged Irishman)

(and later...)

"This is really sad, cuz all the people I drunk dial are in this house."--Brian (holding his phone, preparing to drunk dial)

"In the name of the father, the son, and Ashley Lawson..."--Brian

"I wish I could make you bleed."--me (to Brian?)

Quotes from my mom, upon spending an evening not getting to see the Harry Potter movie, so getting drunk instead

"Sweet!" (When we got our movie tickets, ordered ahead of time online, at the kiosk instead of having to wait in the long, long line)

Me: (talking about how I've got some bitch woman pegged.) "I've got her number."
Mama: "And it's not in your 'five.'"
(I'm so proud of her quick wit...probably one of the all time great Jenny moments.)

"Is it time for another Gim-butt?"--my mama (she means "gimlet," but she's already under the influence of one)

"Hell yeah!"--after my asking her if she thinks I could/should live in Prague next summer

Daddums schools his daughter on rock and roll

Me: I'm getting some pretty hardcore calluses from playing mandolin.
Dad: :::scoff:::
Me: I am! I know eight chords now.
Dad: Yeah...pretty soon you'll be Bob Dylan.
Me: But Bob Dylan doesn't play mandolin.
Dad:...but he's hardcore.

Talking about our drinking-white-zin-from-a-box-cause-it-was-free days...

Me: from a box!
Rira: yeah
i remember that
we didn't care so much back then
Me: nope
I think, if push came to drunk, we wouldn't care that much now either
Rira:
yeah
now my first 2 drinks just need to be decent
after that, i'll drink anything
Me: we're classy

This one's for you, Nima

Rira: so nima went with me for a pedicure after work
i think i might have turned him gay

I think that last line would make for a autobiography title

Bomi: argh i asked my coworker to bring me a black coffee
and he went and got me a mocha
i know i should just appreciate him bringing me something
but i wanted REAL coffee!!!!!

Me: Exactly! That frou-frou coffee isn't real coffee

Bomi: so here i am disgustedly sipping frou frou

My first message from Rira this morning...

Rira: could you please send me a daily reminder that it sucks to be hungover at work?
thank you

And by "offer them a mango," he means...

E: now do you think i should buy some shoes with a cuban heel?
Me: hmmmm...
Any plans to become a pimp?
E: no... but maybe a guy who stands around the fruit carts in little cuba going "cch-ey, preedy lady! ju so fine, mang!"
then i'll offer them a mango.

Daddums suddenly takes an interest in all things domestic

So, here's the set up--I'm trying on a vintage dress for my mom that we're going to try to alter. My dad sits and watches for a moment, then starts a running commmentary. A sampling of his comments:

"That looks nice!" (Despite the fact that it's obviously too small.)
"Well, I think it looks nice!" (Upon me pointing out the fact that it's obviously too small.)

"Isn't that where it's supposed to be?" (meaning the hem at the waist)
"Isn't that fabric hard to sew?" (No, Dad, it's cotton.)

"What exactly is a vintage store?"

"So it's not made in China!" (His response to our realization that the dress is actually handmade.)

True 'dat

(From Rira)
Tom: like the world needs another dense straight boy
they start unnecessary wars and forget their mothers B-days

Belgian beer bar fun

"That's a happy face." (me)
"That's the face of a man who knows what he's going to drink for the next 10 ounces."-Luiz


"Are you ready to storm the Kasteel?"- Dusty (Kasteel is a type of Belgian beer, of course...)

Such a good friend, he is

"No no, you can horn all you want."--Brian

This is a much better quote out of context

(via Aim)

Me: Will there be nipples?
Rira: oh yes

Because no human should have to fetch his or her own coffee

Dave: I should have hired a primate - cats can't fetch coffee without thumbs.
Me: You know, I've actually had this exact discussion before!

Oh, patriotism

"Have an absolutely star-spangled day!"--e

(Via E)-
"Independence, man."--Chip (on what he's "into")

NYC trips always provides a wealth of classic quotage...

"Who needs friends when you've got something hanging off your boob?"--Tina, old friend and new mommy

Not the only way she and the Holy One are similar...

(To Maria, who couldn't get drunk)
Tom: "Water and wine are the same for you."
Me: "Yeah, you're like Jesus."

I'll buy a drink for the person who comes up with the best answer to this important existential question.

"Hey guys! What's a penis?"--Crazy man wearing a dirty Sars mask, near Union Square, to no one in particular

Her confusion is understandable...

"So, is this art or pornography?"--Teenaged girl at the Strand, to a young boy who was looking at an art book with her

Only one of the reasons why I love her...

"Let's go. Let's go drink beer."--Rira

Certain things are very important to us...

Rira: "Do you realize that we just talked about chocolate chip cookies for an entire block?"
Me: "I'm going to put that on the blog, but I'm going to amend it to make note that it was an Upper West Side east to west block. The people in the know will get it."

I wonder to what he was referring...

(This one's for E)

"Them shit's delicious!"--gangsta guy, in Starbucks on the Upper West Side, to his friends